My weight has fluctuated drastically throughout my adult life starting at around 20 years old. I began taking measures at 27 with my first juice fast and lost 17lbs in 3 weeks. I started working out 3 days on and 1 day off at 28, and put all the weight back on by the time I was 31.
I became totally focused on my career and my relationships for a few years, and then I decided it was time to start taking care of my body again and I hired a personal trainer at a fancy boutique gym for rehabilitating athletes.
Yeah there I was bulging and dripping with sweat in my loud leggings and crop top grunting and flexing alongside taped, and bandaged athletes with rippling muscles and serious careers.
But you know what? I had paid a lot of money to be there so did I have my shoulders back, and my chin up in the brightest most athletic sportswear whilst I was strutting my big belly around that gym? You bet a hundred million dollars I did!
Even before I started to lose weight I felt great, and I guess it showed. People started to make comments, nice ones, like you seem happier or wow look how much energy you’ve got today. Then as the weight loss started to show the comments oddly became more backhanded, and negative.
Now, I’m sure this isn’t the case for every weight loss journey, and it probably had a lot to do with the abundance of negative people I was surrounded by at the time, but I want to address this and perhaps help others who’ve been made uncomfortable or even upset by these types on non-compliments.
Here are 4 tried and tested responses to common weight loss comments to either deflect or politely put the bucket crabs in their place.
Don’t Hold Back
- ‘You look so much better now.’ I know some might be surprised that this is a non-compliment. It’s a non-compliment because the negativity about the receiver’s previous appearance is inherent.
Response – I didn’t have a problem with how I looked before.
You can leave it at that, and let them simmer in awkward sauce or add ‘but I feel much better now’. Maybe even throw in a thank you at the end if you’re super non-confrontational, but do me a favor a make it a sassy thank you.
- You’ve lost so much weight so quickly! That’s not healthy you know.
Response – Thank you for your concern. My plan is working well for me.
You can mix this up with ‘I’m feeling better than ever.’ Fill them in on the fat loss blog you’re following, and the fitness app you use to track your progress if you sense that they’re just jealous.
- You’re getting so skinyyyyuh! You need to eat.
Response – Okay, I’ll eat double bacon cheeseburgers with you on fancy brioche buns…
Haha! Not so fast Homeslice. The rest – ‘…if you complete a 2 hour circuit training workout with me every day for the next 3 days. You’re too busy? Uh huh, okay.’
- Now you can start dating.
Response – Please keep your rude inappropriate comments to yourself.
Or ‘My love life is not and never will be any of your business.’ Don’t respond by stating the obvious which is that there are fat people dating and getting married all the time. Feel free to turn around and walk away from anyone this ignorant or ignore anything else they say.
Never explain yourself in these situations. Just shut them down. The learning opportunity for them is in understanding that these comments are inappropriate and hurtful.
Here’s The Thing
People will talk about you if you’re fat, they will talk about you if you’re skinny, and they will have something to say if you are fit and spend any amount of time dedicated to exercise. Just be true to yourself and stay healthy. What they say doesn’t matter
I know you know this logically, but the reason you’ve read up until this point is probably because it’s a challenge to put that logic into action in the moment.
Now you have a clap back starter pack for unpleasant comments about losing weight.